Why Postpartum Isn’t Just About the Baby: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

When a baby is born, the world turns its gaze to the newest arrival. Visitors bring onesies. Texts say, “How’s the baby sleeping?” Instagram fills with squishy cheeks and sleepy smiles. But rarely does anyone ask: How are YOU doing?

 

Postpartum is often painted as a blur of feedings, diapers, and survival-mode snacking. But it’s also something else entirely: a time of becoming. Of reclaiming. Of figuring out who you are now—because the person who gave birth is not the same one who walked into that delivery room.

 

And that shift? It deserves attention.

 

Your Needs Didn’t Disappear with the Placenta

 

Here’s the quiet truth: birthing a baby does not erase your needs. If anything, it magnifies them.

 

You may be healing from stitches or surgery, feeling like a stranger in your own skin, or riding waves of unexpected emotion. You might miss being touched on your own terms. You might be touched out. You might feel like you’ve never loved this deeply—and yet still crave solitude more than air.

 

This is all valid. This is all normal. And most importantly: this deserves care.

 

Reclaiming Yourself Doesn’t Mean You’re Not Devoted

 

There’s a myth that reclaiming yourself postpartum is selfish. But in reality? It’s the opposite.

 

When you take the time to tend to your own body, mind, and nervous system—you parent from a fuller cup. Whether it’s five quiet minutes with your serum and face oil, a solo grocery run, or a full-blown therapy session, these moments are not indulgent. They’re essential.

 

Reclamation isn’t about snapping back. It’s about returning to yourself—or maybe even meeting yourself for the first time.

 

Three Ways to Start Reclaiming (Without Adding More to Your Plate)

 

If “reclaim your identity” sounds like yet another item on an already-too-long list, let’s make it simpler:

1. Claim five sacred minutes
   1. Not to be productive. Not to meditate. Just… to be. Whether it’s sipping a hot drink, stretching in silence, or sitting in the shower until someone needs you—make it yours.
2. Treat your skin like your story matters
   1. That body? It’s done miraculous things. Whether you’re breaking out, feeling dry, or just want to feel good touching your own face again, reintroduce yourself to skincare as a ritual—not a chore. (Boutique Skin Envie has some stunning postpartum-friendly picks, FYI.)
3. Let others hold you, too
   1. Whether it’s a doula, a therapist, a friend, or a postpartum support group—you need support, not just the baby. Saying “yes” to help is not weakness. It’s wisdom.

 

Postpartum isn’t just about baby gear and feeding schedules. It’s about the massive, quiet, life-altering shift happening inside you. This isn’t just a reset. It’s a rebirth.

 

So if you’re feeling like a stranger to yourself—know this: you’re not gone. You’re still here. And you’re worth finding.

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I’m Alix, the founder of TENDER.LY, where I provide compassionate, judgment-free support to growing families. With a background in postpartum care, infant feeding, and mental health first aid, I specialize in supporting neurodivergent parents as they navigate pregnancy, birth, and the early years of parenthood. My approach is all about meeting families where they are, offering neuro-affirming strategies, and helping parents feel more confident and supported in their journey.

Looking for personalized support? Let’s connect! Follow me @lovetender.ly_doula

 

 

*image credit: @ hollyiyioz